There are so many people who will have opinions on your big day. From the MIL to your grandmas neighbour everyone will have their own tips and suggestions which may not be at all necessary. And, unfortunately not everyone can get their own way. In this post I’ll be discussing the main issues that people will have their opinions on and ways to counteract them.
First off WHO WILL WALK YOU DOWN THE AISLE!?!? Believe me when I say I know your pain at making such a difficult choice. I have a real dad who is in my life but not much,; he’s in my life but has never really contributed and at most I’ve only every really seen him once a month. He’s pretty indifferent to everything going on in my life except for my stepdad. My dad and stepdad have this lifelong rivalry and have done since my stepdad entered my life aged 3. My stepdad has been there for 20 years, he’s taken me on holiday, paid for my food and living expenses, has given me loans when I’m short and adopted me aged 4 so I now have his name. I know my stepdad and my Mom would be incredibly upset if when I got married I chose my dad to give me away and vice versa if it was the other way around. Cue, my top solution. I will be given away by neither. Instead I will look towards the other main man in my life that both sides of my family love and respect and I will cross my fingers and hope he says yes. My Grandad doesn’t know it yet but in a few years time he is going to walk me down the aisle and give me away to the love of my life – Chris. I also get that some people don’t have that option however I’m sure everyone has someone important, man or woman, in their life that would do them the honour of giving them away be it your mom, your nan, your brother, son, cousin, godfather or even FIL. So if you really can’t choose or like me don’t want the confrontation, sit down and think – who do I love and wish to entrust this task to?
My personal favourite is children at the wedding. If you don’t have your own children the whole concept of cooping your fifty friends and their 100 children into your venue may sound terrifying and not to mention expensive. You also, like me, not want the confrontation of telling your Great Aunt Margie (I have no idea where I got that name, like seriously, who is Margie) that her nieces granddaughter can’t come because she has a helluva temper. On the other hand you may want flower girl and have three nieces who of course would need to come to the wedding to do their duties. It may be worth wording the invitation so that people are aware that whilst there may be a few children at the venue not all will be invited such as “Due to the size of our venue, we are only able to accommodate the children in our immediate family. We hope you enjoy your night off!”. If you send out save the dates early enough people should be able to snag a babysitter.
Lastly, how on earth do I choose out of my gazillion friends who should be bridesmaids? Personally my moms always told me that once you leave education your friends will dwindle until you’re left with your best friends. These friends are the one’s you don’t have to see every day but when you do it’s as if you’ve never been apart. I won’t lie I am a terrible friend so I have easily managed to dwindle down my best friends to three friends who never let me down and these are the friends I would have as my bridesmaids. If you have been part of a large group of friends since you were little but can’t budget for that many people in your bridal party then it may be worth asking if your friends can pay a contribution towards their outfits if you give them a bit more free reign to choose. It may also be worth just limiting your bridal party to sisters or other close female family members if you can’t choose and then having all your friends as your hens. Your best friends will understand the logic!
Most of all you just need to remember to be firm and remind everyone it’s your day! f they love you, they will let you have it to do with what you wish.